It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
