So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
