He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
