Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize