you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize