I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
