i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
