I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
he thought i was a dude.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize