you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
