The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
