The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
