she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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