I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
