Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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