Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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