How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
