he shaved USA in his pubs
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
