My room smells like vodka and shame
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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