party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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