After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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