big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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