talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
