And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
