Where is the hickey?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
only if we run a train.
done.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
