I just saw a hot homeless man
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
