What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
