Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
