you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
