Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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