I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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