the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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