Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
