Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
