Cold hands, warm shart.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
