I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize