I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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