You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
