I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
