Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize