What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
