People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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