Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
