Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize