You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
