I wish i was in the wii world.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Dear god my vagina.
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