Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
