told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
