Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i think i scared a bird with my dick
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
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