remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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