Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
