Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
