You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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