Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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