i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
