Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
