Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize