1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
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