she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
