let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
