Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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