Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize