Your tits are I can't wait for
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
