Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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