Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
