Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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