I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
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